fuck you, life

A brief summation of the past week and a half:

I've been at my summer camp job for a week now. I've continued my raw food diet, and I'm running, swimming, and walking everyday.

But right now, food is not the issue.
My mother's friend "MN" (the weird one from Wisconsin who lived with us, have I talked about him already?) shot and killed himself in my front yard last Sunday. I was 6 hours away at work, when my mum called me and told me.

I don't feel like explaining anything at the moment, except that I am in complete shock and denial. I can't fucking believe he committed suicide. In my fucking front yard.

I think I sound really unperturbed about the entire situation, but as I said I'm in shock.

Anyway, my reason this time for not posting sooner is because my camp's internet has a web filter...and blogger is one of the sites that's blocked. I filed a complaint and explained how blogger should be unblocked because of its similarity to MySpace and facebook. So right now it's being sorted out.

And the way I'm able to post right now is because I returned home for MN's memorial service.
So I'm hoping when I get back to work (in a few days), blogger will be unblocked and I will be able to blog periodically.
If not, I'll just have to find an internet cafe somewhere...

My life is shit shit shit.

I'm going to restrict on raw food, because I'm "in mourning".
And I just have no desire to eat.