Wednesday, 4 March 2009

stressing out = fat gain

Same weight as yesterday.

Last night I went to sleep with a pounding headache, most likely from the sugar-loaded binge.

School is killing. I have 20-page government project due next Thursday, a Pathophysiology report due Monday, an English paper due tomorrow, and three art history reports due Monday. AHHHHHHHHHH! I should NOT have time for food. Unfortunately, I do.

Went to my friend T's house today. His mom cooked dinner (why is dinner so damn important?)...and so I had to eat. fuckfuckfuck. It was some sort of biscuit/chicken pot pie thing(?) with loads of cheese. I tried to eat as little as possible. For dessert she made a "Reese's peanut butter cup cookie cosmic brownie cake". I swear that's what she called it. My insides shrivelled up when she said that. A bloody REESE'S COSMIC BROWNIE cake?!?!? Those cosmic brownies taste horrid and there are 600 FUCKING CALORIES in only two.
She served some to me, and I ate it all - even though it was disgusting - just to be polite since I hadn't eaten all of dinner.
There were other things to eat during dinner as well, and I regret not getting them instead of the chicken pot pie. But I didn't know how many calories anything had, so I tried to be careful.
T and his family are quite large, mind you. T, his sister, his brother, and his dad all appear extremely pregnant. the only one not almost morbidly obese is his mom. But anyway, they think somethings wrong if you don't eat almost the equivalent they do. Which is why I ate, because even though I'm fat and I eat alot, I don't feel comfortable eating around obese people because I feel as though the "small" amount of food I"ve got is gloating...?

But when I got home I wanted to get rid of the piece-of-shit cosmic brownie taste in my mouth. So I ate a heaping (about 1.5 cups) bowl of Honey Bunches of Almonds with whole fresh banana and a clementine.
I asked T's mom about the food she made, and I was able to get as accurate the number of calories as I could get.
My total for today was a whopping 1,803....and that's what I get for accepting a dinner invitation. damnit.

Tomorrow looks brighter, no?
I have a headache again now, and my heart is beating so quickly.
And although it's only 9:50, I'm falling asleep.

goodluck and goodnight everyone!


Ana said...

Wow, that's a scary meal! But look on the bright side, that's just what a normal person eats in a day. Your metabolism can handle that once. Lots of water, get it all out of your system.

Anonymous said...

I think some people are stuck in the 1950's and think that being a good wife and mother means having a hot (fattening) dinner on the table every night, including dessert. That's just a one way ticket to obese-ville unfortunately. Feel better!

Jenna said...

Good luck on your school assignments. Stress sucks.

And I'm sorry that today wasn't ideal-- it will get better. We all have those days.