I would like to tell you that I had only two apples and 1/2 cup of sliced peaches/watermelon today.
I would also like to tell you that I did not eat two Klondike Krunch ice cream bars, 2 cups of rice, peanut butter crackers, and three slices of french bread.
I had all of it. All 1,468 calories of it. HOW.THE.FUCK.DO.I.MANAGE.TO.EAT.SO.FUCKING.MUCH.
Do I have binge-eating disorder?
Compulsive over-eating?
Lusting-for-fat disorder??
WHERE did the control I had when I only ate two stalks of celery all day go?
Why the fuck am I eating thousands of calories?
I am fully aware of what I'm doing to my body.
So why the fuck can't I just......stop?
Should I say that I will eat nothing tomorrow? I don't enjoy breaking promises.
I want people to see me as someone who is in control, knows when to stop.
Not as a weak, worthless, promise-breaking fat hog.
I will not be beautiful over spring break.
The slim French and Brits will point and laugh "look at the obese American!", and I will eat more and more and more...
because if I'm already fat, why does it matter?
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2 comments:
Bummer. :( Everyone has those days, the worst.
*hug*
I know that feeling...I think we all do sometimes.
Don't get discouraged.
You can regain control
You're probably just stressed
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