the beginning of a struggle

My eating habits, from the time I was a wee little one to the present, have been nothing short of disgusting. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Each year I gained weight, yet I still continued to eat.

I'm not constantly hungry; rather, I have an incessant oral fixation for chewing and swallowing. I just love to chew and swallow, and once I've put one bite of food in my mouth, I can't stop. Control is not something my body knows. I can't control myself. At all.

So, I have realised the danger of my long love affair with food, and I will change that.

I've decided to blog then, partly because I need to keep track of my new plan, and partly because I can type so much quicker than I can write (and there's not wasting paper, either).

I am not starting this blog with the intention of slowly killing myself, although that is precisely what I am doing. I am intelligent enough to know the effects of my habits; however, I am willing to compromise my health if it means losing the lard off my body.
I'm doing this of my own accord.

I welcome support, questions, suggestions, anything. I do not welcome concerned non-ana/mia/ednos' who wish to change my ways, who wish to tell me that there are better, healthier ways to lose weight. Been there, done that. This blog and everything I do are my last resort, before I plummet into the terrifying world of obesity.

I am a revolting, gargantuan girl, and this WILL change.