Thursday, 12 February 2009

feeling ecstatic

So yesterday I consumed 400 more calories after I wrote. I totally gobbled down SIX delicious peanut butter crackers and some ROLO'S.
Last night I weighed myself and the scale said 128. Two pounds down since Monday...but I had so many calories....?!? hmm.

And so to make up for that 2,000 calorie (EGAD!) day, I had

8 oz. cup of orange juice - 110 calories
water for twelve straight hours
one fish filet- 120 calories

Oh, and two sticks of spearmint gum - 20 calories
and a miniscule breathmint - about 2 calories


I weighed myself after the fish-------- 126!!!!! I haven't been that weight for two years.
Two whole pounds since last night!!!!
I danced through my house after that. I feel so light!

Too bad I can't stick to it this weekend - tomorrow I'm going on a school trip to the Body Worlds exhibit in Houston - six hours away. We're leaving my school at 6 a.m. and returning around 10 p.m.
Which means I'll be with my friends and teachers ALL day. Which means I have to eat something, or my wonderful friends will notice.

So I think I'll eat an orange for breakfast - only 80 calories
No snacks or lunch - I'll just make the excuse that the exhibit ruined my appetite (what a joke! I can look at pictures of bloody bodies and still enjoy my steak).

As for dinner, we're going to some diner that's supposedly got some renowned pies. I looked up their menu and tried to plan my meal ahead. They've got a buffet - in my fatter days I probably would have picked that...but seeing how it's almost TEN dollars, no thank you! Maybe if I were bulimic I'd buy it. They do have a salad buffet...but I don't like salad THAT much.

I'm thinking either -

the small portion chicken fried steak with bread, corn, and fried okra, and a slice of pie
grand total: $8.88

OR I can totally restrict and have -

a tossed salad and a slice of pie
grand total: $4.28

GOD, what should I choose???? The difference in calories is probably in the THOUSANDS. And not to mention the second one is almost HALF as much as the first one in price.
But I feel so proud of myself for having less than 300 calories today, and until dinner tomorrow I will have only had 80 calories.

Oh - I said I'd talk about my dad's house.
My dad is from Afghanistan. Afghan people are some of THE most hospitable in the world. And food is involved. So much delicious, scrumptious, delectable food. And Afghans STUFF you even after your stomach has exploded.
Maybe that's why I'm so fat - being an Afghan is not friendly to the body.
Anyway, whenever I go to my dad's house, I know I'll go back home at least two pounds heavier. And I can't refuse food at his house. Not only because his wife's food is so damn delicious, but because they would make such a fuss I become ashamed.

So, chicken fried 10 pounds fatter steak with all the fixin's...
or measly salad?

I DON'T KNOW. I have a strong feeling all my control and restraint will melt when it comes time for me to order. I can just imagine my willpower side opening my mouth to say "salad", when all of a sudden my starving side slaps willpower down and screams "CHICKEN-FRIED-FUCKING-STEAK!". Oh God, oh God, oh GOD.

I could eat only half of everything at dinner and get a box to put the leftovers in...and it is the "small portion" (although I'm skeptical about how much smaller it could possibly be than the original sized meal).
And after my weekend with dad's to-die-for-food, I can come home on Monday and starve off all those calories and fat until the end of the week.

So it's (hopefully) settled then. I'll binge (and cringe) this weekend (mainly so no one suspects anything - I already don't eat lunch at school, and friends have noticed and asked), and then next week I'll try out this juice thing.

feeling almost beautiful.

No comments: