Tuesday, 24 February 2009

thoughts

127 yet again...sigh. I guess the plateau I'm at is a result from my disastrous weekend. However I did begin my morning with 50 crunches (thank you Ana!).

Had only water today until dinner. Putting lemon in my water really makes it yummy, and sort of fills me up.

1 cup of honey teddy crackers - 150
1/4 cup count chocula cereal - 40
2 slices Pumpernickel bread - 160
1/2 cup Chocolate ice cream - 130
Spinach lasagna - 281
Total - 761

300 more than yesterday...
I'm full. full full full.
But I exercised. Loads.

For some reason I've been craving cereal (especially chocolate flavored) awfully bad today. So I bought some Honey Bunches of Chocolate, which will be dinner tomorrow. I can't wait to eat it - in all its crisp and chocolatey glory yummmm. Drinking only water all day will make it all the more delicious.

You know, I think restricting is both a terrible and wonderful thing. Terrible in the sense that your body obviously doesn't receive all the nourishment it needs, but wonderful because when you eat the very little amount your stomach can handle it tastes absolutly divine. You appreciate the miniscule bit of food you're allowed, and it makes you feel good to know that you aren't gobbling down unnecessary amounts that could otherwise be fed to starving countries. Know what I mean, jellybean? Ugh, I detest jellybeans.

And I sort of had an epiphany today...if I can call it that. While walking to my art history class I realized, "I can do this! I don't know what was so hard about not eating, but I can do it! I have finally mastered at least a little control; hello skinny love". But I just had a revelation. Restricting isn't hard. I just make it hard because I think I want to fill my stomach to bursting point, when I know deep down I want to be thin and beautiful. And that is precisely what I will become.

5 comments:

dee said...

i had a day like this today - cereal is the best! i love the crunch! i prefer the special k stuff myself - but just about all cereal is good in my opinion!

skinny love said...

Yeah, I've got a weakness for crunchy clusters and granola. I don't think I've had Special K, but I've tried Kashi and Basic 4...mostly because of the nuts!

Ana said...

great post :-) Yeah, I love that feeling where you super-appreciate food. One of the best parts about that is when you realize you can stop when the appreciation for whatever you're eating wears off. lol - or it would be, if I were the kind of person who could leave something on my plate. sigh.

Jenna said...

That's a good attitude to have!

I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable posting my height and weight. But it wasn't an inappropriate question at all! I'm just too self-conscious.

But thank you for reading/commenting!

AnaBullshit said...

Brilliant!!! nothing better then a good epiphany! And its true..you CAN do this...you CAN! Its amazing when you finally realize that you actually do have control over what happens to your body! Its the part of the pro ana movement that people don't understand at all...its empowering!! good luck little lady :)