Just returned from my dad's house...which means I had a weekend full of scrumptious food and overstuffed goodness! (sarcasm)
I ate so much that I gave in and purged. I hate purging so much; it causes my lower lip to swell, as though I'm pouting, and it gives me the most awful jowls. Not that it really matters; I've already got a double chin...what difference are jowls going to make?
Tomorrow is the beginning of my new life with ana. We have made a deal that if I don't clean up my act and restrict, she will leave me and never return. So tomorrow is my big chance.
This weekend was an exception, because I rarely see my dad, and come on, it's Afghan food. My half-afghan body craves its ethnic food sometimes.
I think I have gained almost 15 pounds since 125 lbs. in February. I gained it so quickly and there is so much fat that it's uncomfortable to bend over, sit in various positions (especially sitting on my shins), and just....existing in general. I'm so disgusted. So absolutely disgusted. I can't believe I occupy this revolting piece of fat body.
blahblahblah I don't know what else to say.
I wish everyone luck, love you guys - seriously - and welcome new followers!
- skinny love
- Self-deprecating, daydreaming introvert who despises herself, food, and ignorance. I'm not starving myself for attention.
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Height: 5'3"
Highest Weight: 149
Current Weight: 147
Lowest Weight: 125
Short-term Goal Weight: 120
Long-term Goal Weight: 99
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Progress:
• 148 - 1/1/10
• 146 - 1/17/10
• 143
• 140
• 137
• 135
• 132
• 129
• 126
• 123
• 120
• 117
• 114
• 111
• 108
• 105
• 102
• 99
3 comments:
Of course you ahve new and many followers. It's because you are awesome face and ♥ you!
Yes, yes, that pride thing was pretty cheesy, but I laughed XD It's hard to have pride when the guys look better than you in skirts though O.O!
At least you had a good time and good food! You can lose it, now, though. Just stay strong! Remember your goal!
You'll make it there, bb, I know it.
@your comment on my post
I applied to clothing stores, bath & body, and a bookstore, so they're all safe. I really really don't want to work at a food place b/c, 1) I know I'll end up eating and 2) Touching other people's food freaks me out. Dunno why, lol...
Maybe you should try to find a different job. They don't seem to be serving the safest foods where you work. :(
@your post
I understand the whole comfort foods to please your ethnicity thing. I LOVE eating my mother's cooking, but so much of it I can't eat. I can't remember when I last had a nice big bowl of glutinous white rice.
I hope you don't have to purge again! It's not good for you (which I'm sure you know), but I hope you can be safe and healthy. Think thin, doll.
I've always wanted to try Afghan food. I don't think we have any restaurants around here (*mental note*).
You've got the resolve to do it. Hit me up for support if you need it :)
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